Empty Chairs...

We had a very special Christmas gift! On Christmas evening, I checked the tracking number for our dossier and it arrived in China on Christmas Day!! We should be logged in the next 1-3 weeks. After that we wait for our Letter of Acceptance, which could take 60-90 days. We are looking at traveling in the next 4-5 months and bringing Lexa home!

I went to see the movie Les Miserables this week. I have seen the musical before, but there was one song and one phrase that had new meaning to me this year. It was the song "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables". In the story, Marius sings the song, after losing his friends during the French Revolution. Although we had a special time with my family this year, it felt as though we had "Empty Chairs." On the one hand, we had an empty chair by not having Lexa with us this Christmas. Even though she is not "officially" ours, she is ours in our heart and it felt like an empty chair to not have her with us. The week before Christmas I was talking to Noah about Lexa and he said, "When can we get Lexa?" I told him it would be after Christmas and not for a while. He replied, "But Mom, Lexa can't miss Christmas!" It was so sweet that even our 3 year old wanted Lexa home for Christmas. :) Even though missing Lexa left an empty chair, it leaves us with excitement and anticipation. We are excited about what this year holds and bringing her home to us.

On the other hand, we had an empty chair that will never be filled again while we are on this Earth. And that empty chair made Christmas so very difficult. My brother Justin and his wife Rawan were in town with their family so we all spent the night with my parents, along with Janelle (Joel's wife) and their boys. We had some special times together, but we all felt the absence of missing Joel. These past few weeks have been very emotional. Then, we celebrated Andy's birthday with Justin, Rawan, and Janelle by going out to eat without the kids (something we don't get to do very often!) It was a blast spending time with them, but again, there was a very evident "empty chair." As Andy and I talked about it that night, we cried together, remembering all of the good times we had shared with Joel in the past, and the sinking reality that there will be no more memories with him in our Earthly future. I have been reading the book Heaven by Randy Alcorn. Thinking about heaven, eternity, and the reunion we will have someday has been an amazing comfort. But as I heard the song "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" I couldn't help but see the comparison to the loss of Joel. The lyrics are below...

"There's a grief that can't be spoken There's a pain goes on and on Empty chairs at empty tables Now my friends are dead and gone Here they talked of revolution Here it was they lit the flame Here they sang about tomorrow And tomorrow never came. From the table in the corner They could see a world reborn And they rose with voices ringing And I can hear them now! The very words that they had sung Became their last communion On the lonely barricade... At dawn. That I live and you are gone There's a grief that can't be spoken There's a pain goes on and on Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me What your sacrifice was for Empty chairs at empty tables Where my friends will sing no more..."